Photos and words by Ola Mazzuca; Except Chicken Paprikash photo by Frank Mazzuca
In this entry of Blasphemous Meals, reader discretion is advised to those of you who are vegetarian, vegan and on and on and on.
You’ll find six saucy, savoury, satanically delicious dishes that are from three different carnivorous groups: beef, fish, poultry and pork. They are warm and welcoming as you retreat from the frostbitten woodlands in the coming months – at least for our Canadian Hellbound readers. Nonetheless, these meals will inspire you to taste such atmospheric flavours that compliment natural, vast landscapes of the following season.
Enjoy/ Buon Appetito! J
Paprika Cream of Chicken by Jorg Bock of MINOTAUR
What a colourful dish! This Bavarian delight was gifted to Annick by some thrashers that know their spices. The diced peppers add such great vibrancy to a dish curry-thick. I made short spaetzle noodles for a side, which were a bit bland, as I just added some margarine after boiling.
I made homemade rue, directed by an original recipe provided by Bock – better than any Club House, Knorr or Maggi brand seasoning.
Ali Baa Baa by Bernie Shaw of URIAH HEEP
I’m a huge fan of Moroccan cuisine, as my family enjoys dining at the Sultan’s Tent – a beautifully decorated institution on Toronto’s Front St. near Union Station. My parents have made traditional Morrocan lamb – dried fruits and all – served in a blue and yellow clay earthenware pot, known as a “tagine.”
I was a bit nervous to make Ali Baa Baa as I wanted to create the most authentic taste possible. It turns out that I did quite the job, but all credit goes to fabulous ingredients. This includes 2 lamb shoulder filets a variety of herbs like mint and thyme to brown sugar, tomatoes and pitted prunes.
Yup, pitted prunes. And I know a bunch of people that hate mandarin slices, strawberries and apples on their salads. I used to be one of them until I discovered the beauty match of savory and sweet. In Moroccan cuisine, contrasting elements like apricots, prunes and dates are what make the dish, whether it be complimentary to a selection of lean, tender meats or adding a certain consistency to a reduction, fruit is function!
The dish was paired with wicked saffron basmati rice. Its yellow colour was a great backdrop for the maroon-painted lamb.
Classic ethnic dish from a classic English band. A winner.
Spetsofai by Archon Vorskaath (with the help of Melanie *the artist’s friend) of ZEMIAL
I’m not a huge fan of Greek food. Sure, I love baklava for its pistachios and spanikopita for its spinach, but you wont really catch me eating gyros or souvlaki on a regular basis…because I’m probably eating Banh Mi (Vietnamese submarine sandwiches).
For the pork portion of this blog entry, we are left with spicy spetsofai. I used two tomatoes from my Nonna’s garden as a base. This reduced down in a blend of onions, garlic, thyme, oregano, brown sugar, nutmeg and capsicum – a blend of tri-coloured bell peppers sliced thin. The sauce supported hot Italian sausages. I was going to add more chili, but refrained, as it would have interfered with the meat and aromatic nutmeg, which added a different sort of kick.
Once again, boil long grain rice as a side and extra spoonfuls of a tomato herb ragu to mix.
Greece may be in economic crisis, but black metallers ZEMIAL know how to ham things up.
Bloody Intestines and Worms by Bill Lindsey of IMPALER
This meal was made by coincidence. One evening, I wanted to cook for Blasphemous Meals. I realized that the only staple dinner items in my house consisted of hot Italian sausages, two peppers, onions and leftover tomato sauce. So what did I do? Went to the cookbook shelf, picked up Hellbent for Cooking and skimmed through to find a meal to match these ingredients.
“Bloody Intestines and Worms” are really not as brutal as they sound. It’s a quick dish that requires oven-roasted sausages while stir-frying a combo of red pepper, orange pepper and onions. This meal is full of multi-tasking, but as the sausages are the main component, they don’t need much attention in the oven.
To say Bill Lindsey’s dish is the most exciting would be a lie, but its great nonetheless for a quick dinner fix using whatever your kitchen has to offer.
Lindsey is the lead vocalist of IMPALER, the Minnesota, Minneapolis-based shock-thrash band, photographed in the 80’s corpsepaint-clad and writing lyrics of blood, gore and guts. His dish is a clear reflection of the sadistic themes that inspire him.
Beer-Battered Fish Filets with Garlic Prawns (with a side of sweet potato fries) by Hexx of TRENCH HELL
What better way to end a long work/school week of rainy, dull weather than with a Friday night fish fry full of traditional pub fare? This was my very first attempt at making homemade Fish and Chips. The recipe suggested a boneless salt-water fish like flathead, but I opted for the English standard of halibut.
The batter was so easy to prepare with a mixture of self-rising flour, one egg and a full bottle of beer. I used Alexander Keith’s India Pale Ale – my favourite Canadian brew! It thoroughly coated the halibut filets to make a strong fritter jacket that prevented the fish from falling apart.
Instead of frying the shrimp, I baked them in the oven with a garlic butter marinade. Since the yield was cut in half from six portions to three, I used 18 prawns, six on each skewer. That makes three skewers of six prawns. Yup – the number of the beast in edible glory.
Served with a bottle of Keith’s IPA, a handful of plank-cut sweet potato fries, homemade tartar sauce and a lemon wedge, this is a great way to commence weekend eating and I will definitely use this beer batter recipe in the future.
Hexx, vocalist/guitarist of Australia’s Trench Hell, described as a mix of “early Celtic Frost and Motorhead,” donated the article. He writes that when he is not bleeding his ears with amplifiers and wah pedals, he spends the rest of his time fishing in his kayak, aptly named The Bream Reaper. Hexx catches his fish in local waterways, so until I get to Australia, Fresh Co. will have to do.
Fårikål by Jan Axel “Hellhammer” Blomberg of MAYHEM
“Who are they? Which ones? Who tha fuck are you talking to?” shouts an inebriated Necrobutcher in Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey as drummer Hellhammer sheepishly looks on. The pair from Norwegian black metal progenitors Mayhem may look brutal and true on screen and stage, but there is nothing more delicate than the way meat falls off shoulder of lamb in Fårikål.
Blomberg claims it is the national dish of Norway, with its own celebratory day on the last Thursday of September each year. It’s a meal that can be slow roasted in the oven like a casserole by layering lamb meat of any cut, bones and fat included in all of its sacrificial glory, with chunks of mellow cabbage.
Instead of cooking this in the oven, I left it in a slow cooker for approximately four hours on high before turning it down a notch prior to serving. The meat and vegetables were sprinkled with salt, dashed with sharp black peppercorns and topped with little new potatoes and diced white potatoes. It didn’t even need to cook in stock, but just a few cups of water.
The result was meat so tender, difficult to remove from the pot, falling off the bone like a lamb slaughtered for a stage prop. Without being driven through a stake, the meat was spicy and complimented by the simplicity of the cabbage. The steamed potatoes made for great starch, adding to this hearty dish for the frostbitten weather that will soon come our way.
It’s not only a sinful staple for Scandinavians, but works great in a Canuck setting. Especially for me, a black metal aficionado, partial to Mayhem and the deathcrush of this awesome dish!
Must be paired with a bold Farnese Negroamaro wine.
