By Kevin Stewart-Panko
Agoraphobic Nosebleed has just released their crowning achievement, the stunningly song-oriented ginormous musical fuck-stick that is Agorapocalypse and as the press cycle dictates, it’s time for them to do interviews promoting said record. We could ask about their packaging the CD in old-school longboxes, what took so fucking long and how a band that doesn’t have a drummer managed to place a drum solo in “Question of Integrity.” We could also ask about Jay Randall and Katherine Katz’s lyrical ire. Maybe we’d get normal answers, maybe we wouldn’t, but this is the same band that gave the world Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope and has songs about being “Nose deep in Jamaican armpit pussy” and “Prepubescent boys with handsome white asses.” Things don’t exactly fall into line ‘round these parts. While everyone else worried and wondered about all that other shit, Hellbound.ca decided conventionally interviewing a gang of misanthropic jokers like ANb was probably going to get us nowhere. So, we cornered all four members and subjected them to time honored party game and one of the last surviving bastions of Freudian psychology: word association. You know the drill, see a word, say the first thing that comes to mind. Analyze their answers at your own discretion.
Religion
Jay Randall: Pat Robertson’s head on a plate
Richard Johnson: …is a fraud
Katherine Katz: Cultists
Scott Hull: McDonald’s
Feminism
JR: A vag with a flag sticking out of it
RJ: Strength
KK: Equality
SH: Girls gone wild
Agorapocalypse
JR: Equals tons of weird interviews
RJ: Holocaust in your head
KK: Aural assault
SH: Agorapokalips
Moonshine
JR: Paint thinner
RJ: Blasted in the hills
KK: Trouble
SH: Georgia Moon
Obama
JR: …bin laden
RJ: I voted for Nader
KK: Inspiring
SH: Bailout
Racism
JR: Boston
RJ: Unevolved
KK: Ignorance
SH: George Jefferson
Skunk
JR: Jamaican armpit pussy
RJ: Smelly pot
KK: Pepe le Pew
SH: Baxter
Drugs
JR: This is Brutal Truth high on…
RJ: Don’t mind if I do
KK: I pass on grass
SH: Allergies
Firing Squad
JR: Bukkake
RJ: Set ’em up and knock ’em down
KK: Bang bang
SH: The Last Road to Hell
Boobs
JR: Small perky ones that stand up and say “hi!”
RJ: I prefer breasts
KK: Mmmm
SH: Somali pirates
Dicks
JR: Richard Johnson
RJ: Cheneys
KK: Useless appendages
SH: Jay likes these in our layouts
Masturbation
JR: I like to watch and jerk it a little
RJ: Don’t mind if I do
KK: Procrastination
SH: Propagation
Salome
JR: Black and white photos of Kat’s hair
RJ: Openers at the Scion Rock Fest
KK: …is the end
SH: Treble knob with a red line through it
Drugs of Faith
JR: Dick Johnson’s holy mountain
RJ: Close to my heart
KK: Opiate of the masses
SH: “Dougs” of faith
Pig Destroyer
JR: Cop killer, Ice-T
RJ: That prick Blake knocked me out of my honorary fourth member slot
KK: Prowler
SH: Another plane ride, another airport
Short shorts
JR: Showing brain
RJ: Perhaps too short
KK: Crotch shot
SH: http://fotos.blogs2k.com/files/2008/11/short-shorts.jpg
Fractal Time
JR: Premature ejaculation
RJ: Another plot is afoot, compliments of the Timelord
KK: 2012
SH: Bifurcation
Vasectomy
JR: Bob Barker
RJ: My mother tells me I should have kids because all the stupid people are having kids, and the smart people have to contribute to the gene pool. But there are too many children as it is
KK: Population control
SH: Propogation
Thanks Lists
JR: Thanks to Rich Hoak
RJ: …are still bullshit
KK: You, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you…
SH: A great opportunity to forget important people
This interview
JR: Rosie O’Donnell getting off
RJ: Pregnant women must die (continued from “vasectomy” and a Rocking Dildos song title)
KK: …kills fascists
SH: A mess
Agorapocalypse is out now on Relapse Records. It really is some quite fine grind.
(Photo by Josh Sisk)
