Because Slipknot is definitely the most Satanic band since KISS…

Suffice to say there’s a lot of crazy shit on Facebook.  You don’t hafta go far to find some utter inanities, that’s for sure.  Earlier today, I stumbled across something that was nevertheless notable: a page entitled Christians Against Slipknot.  It’s a real doozy…

With some 619 likes to date (just 47 away from a very un-Christian number), the page has created a bit of a stir.  Particularly with its latest post, which has generated 528 comments in just 12 hours.  Are you ready for this?

It has come to my attention that at Satanic Music concerts, the bands ask participants to act in things named ‘Mosh pits’.

Now I can only assume Mosh stands for Music of Satanic Homage, ergo any band who does ask people to go into them is admitting to be working on the side of the devil.

This is made even clearer when within this MOSH pits, people beat each other up and spill blood in the devils name. This is really sad, yet metal heads, as they liked to be called, do not seem to understand how Satanic this is?

You have to be incredibly ignorant to not understand just how Satanic you’re acting when doing stuff like this.

Regards, Hilary.

Is it just me, or does Music of Satanic Homage sound like it came straight from the mouths of MATMOK, ie Mothers Against the Music of KISS?  Mind you, that organization was a joke, a fictional creation from a film produced by Gene Simmons.  Which begs the question, is Christians Against Slipknot a real religious organization, or just a highly-skilled troll?  Several of the postings seemed sincere, until I saw this one:

I wish to share something with you all.

Today a man came up to my door, where I live, with my wife and pets. When I answered I saw he had his hood up, and a bat in one hand. He asked “Are you N from C-A-S.” To which I nervously replied yes. He then pushed me and tried to swing his bat at me. Luckily I dodged said bat, but he kept trying to hit me with it. After unsuccessfully hitting for the fourth time, I managed to get up to my bedroom, where I keep my handgun. I walked back down and asked him to leave. When he ran at me I shot him in the knee, and phoned the police.

I am so glad to live in a country where I can defend myself from those who listen to Slipknot. The fact you all felt the need to orchestrate my death or serious injury was abhorrent, and I simply can not see how I deserve such hate for simply helping those who ask for it. Please be aware that tomorrow I am heading to my local K-Mart, to buy a bigger gun, and if anyone tries to threaten me or my family again I will not give so many chances, as I did this person this morning.

I have handed all documentation on this page, and Metal-Heads-Against-Christians-Against-Slipknot’s page over to the local authorities, and they are currently tracing the creator of that page to see if he/she is linked in anyway shape or form to the one who assaulted me today.

The LORD saved me on this day, and for that I am grateful.
God Bless you all.
– N.

Yeah, I can’t believe someone would shoot a Satanic disciple of Slipknot in self-defense… without it making the news.  Especially in the States.  But even though the page is a fake, the hundreds of comments it has generated are real.  Makes for some mindless entertainment if you’ve got nothing better to do.  And chances are, if you’re dicking around on Facebook, you probably don’t. 😉



P.S.: Like what you read?  Follow me on Twitter and check out my blog!

P.P.S.: My new radio show, , airs Sunday nites from 6 till 8 (Eastern Time) on Grip of Delusion Radio.  Tune in and drop out!

Seahawks/Stamps/Flames/Zags/Jays/Raptors fan and lifelong metal head with a beer gut and a self-deprecating sense of humour. Reviewer/blogger (Yon Senior Doomsayer) for